


Watch Your Fucking Mouth

by SnowyWolff



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Course Language, M/M, Traffic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:03:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22960648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowyWolff/pseuds/SnowyWolff
Summary: The radio rattled off the news, ending, as usual, with the list of traffic jams.Gilbert sighed. “Ah, shit. I mean, shoot.”
Relationships: Prussia/South Italy (Hetalia)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 61





	Watch Your Fucking Mouth

**Author's Note:**

> This is the replacement gift for @pancake-man (on tumblr) for the Prumano Secret Valentine Event! Their promps were language (and i picked the cursing side) and kidfic (tho technically maybe not really cause it’s older brothers taking care of their much younger siblings, but like 🤷). Anyway, hope you’ll enjoy this!!!
> 
> Benvenuto - Seborga

Lovino is poring over the map, pushing his glasses back up as they slip down his nose. The kids are asleep in the backseat, Ludwig’s face pressed to the window and Feliciano pressed against him. Benvenuto gurgled in the carseat.

The radio rattled off the news, ending, as usual, with the list of traffic jams.

“What road are we on?” Gilbert asked, squinting at the signs.

“The A3, I think,” Lovino answered.

Noticing the slowing cars and slotting his own into place, Gilbert sighed. “Ah, shit. I mean, shoot.”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” Lovino said without looking up, though his lips quirked in an amused smile.

Gilbert took his place in traffic and turned to Lovino. “Really?”

Lovino glanced at him, then at their little brothers in the back. Feliciano snored, Ludwig’s face slid a little further down the window, Benvenuto giggled.

“Ah, I doubt Ben is going to start cursing anytime soon.” Lovino turned back to the map. “We’re gonna be stuck in hell for forever; there’s no place to get off without sidetracking completely.”

“I’m not worried about Ben. What if Feli or Lutz absorbs it like Dexter in that one episode.”

Lovino rolled his eyes. “It’s _fine_ , Gilbert. We’d have to chant omelet du fucking fromage all damn night. Or, hook them up to the same shit as in _Brave New World_ , but that’d be unethical, so I think they’ll be fine.”

Grumbling, Gilbert drove forward the few centimetres given. “I just don’t think we should curse around them.”

“Please, Gil. My first word was fuck and I turned out all right.”

“You’re joking.”

“No. It’s in the dumb ‘my child’s firsts’ book my mom liked to fill in. Feli’s was cat.”

“Somehow I feel that explains a lot.”

Lovino removed his glasses and put them in his hair, glaring at Gilbert. “As if you’re such a saint.”

“I just don’t want mom to think I’m corrupting Lutz. You know how she hovers over him.”

“Good god, Gilbert. Ludwig is sooner to become Chancellor at age eighteen than copy anyone’s speech patterns. Hell, I bet he’ll end up scolding you for it actually.”

Gilbert pursed his lips.

They were silent for a little while, stuck in traffic. Lovino folded the map and sighed.

“You know you’re not a bad influence, right?” he said, covering Gilbert’s hand resting on the clutch with his own for a moment to draw his attention. “Ludwig thinks the world of you.”

Gilbert gestured listlessly with his other hand. “Try telling mom that. She’s still not over me dropping out of uni.”

“She just wants what’s best for you and she thinks that a degree is a clear path to that.” Lovino squeezed Gilbert’s hand when he saw the protest build, smiling slyly. “ _But_ , in the long run, only you yourself can tell what’s best for you. And clearly she does seem to think you have your life somewhat together, considering she let us go out with the kids so long as I’m not to touch the steering wheel.”

Gilbert snorted, stealing a quick kiss from Lovino’s smiling lips. “Fair enough.”

“Besides,” Lovino said, leaning back into the seat and lowering the window to properly flip off the person cutting in front of them. “No influence is worse than mine.”

Gilbert slapped his arm half-heartedly. “Stop that.”

“We’re in traffic. You can’t—” Lovino gestured to the car that now cut into another lane, hoping to advance and clogging it all up further. “Christ, not even I do that crap.”

“No road rage when you’re not driving.”

Lovino covered his heart in mock hurt. “Please, not my one reprieve from shitty traffic.”

“You’ll live, _Schatz_.”

They stuck out their tongues at each other, chuckling.

“At least they’re asleep,” Lovino muttered as they inched forward.

Gilbert quickly glanced back and found Feli very much drooling onto Ludwig’s arm. “Careful. You’ll jinx it.”

“Eh, I have ice cream at home for blackmailing purposes.”

Gilbert whipped his head around to look at his boyfriend. “Chocolate?”

Lovino snorted and ran his fingers through Gilbert’s hair quickly. “Naturally. If you’re good.”

“Ha ha.” Gilbert pouted as Lovino pressed a kiss to his nose.

“First,” Lovino whispered and, before Gilbert had well and truly noticed it, snaked his hand to the wheel to press the horn and yelled: “We must survive this fucking excuse of a sorry piece of shit in his fat fucking BMW in shitting traffic.”

From the back, Benvenuto piped up, “Shit!”

Lovino and Gilbert stared at each other for a short moment before bursting into laughter, waking up Feliciano and Ludwig.

Blearily, Feliciano rubbed his eyes and asked, in a mumbly voice, “Wha’s funny?”

“Just Ben keeping the true Vargas tradition alive, Feli,” Lovino said, turning around to help Ludwig clean off Feliciano’s drool.

Feliciano hummed, confused. Then, he peered around Ludwig to look outside the window. “Why aren’t we driving?”

“Some people can’t drive,” Gilbert said.

“Oh, like Lovino.”

Gilbert tried to smother his laughter in his sweater, and replied to Lovino’s glare with a half-hearted shrug.

“Keep going like that and no one gets any ice cream at all,” Lovino hissed.

“There’s ice cream?” Feliciano began tugging on Ludwig’s arm. “We’ll be good. Right, Ludwig?”

Ludwig nodded and Lovino turned back around.

Gilbert reached for the radio, tuning away from the news to a music broadcast. It would hopefully obscure the insults Lovino continued to mutter about their predicament.

***

When they got home, and sat on the couch, watching some children’s TV with bowls of ice cream, Lovino somehow found a moment to film Benvenuto saying his new favourite word, sent it to his parents on holiday in Italy, and later received a very loud voicemail over it.

**Author's Note:**

> i did maybe rush to finish this a little cause i wanted to post it on the a leap day 🙈


End file.
